Parrot Humor - - - by Liz Davies (aka "Mom")

  • An Ohio dairy farmer kept pet dogs and a parrot. The farmer's house was sitting near a small hill where his dogs were kept (outside) during nice weather. The parrot sat in the window and would watch the dogs running. He'd wait until the dogs got to the top of the hill and then he'd holler "(Whistle) Here Boy!" Those dogs would barrel down the hill at full tilt - all the way to the house, then look around to see who called them. The parrot would just sit there... silent... until the dogs ran back up the hill - then he'd call them down again.

  • When I was living in Ohio and working full-time, part of our week-morning routine involved having Pakshi keep me company while I showered and got dressed for work.  Most mornings he'd be happy to sit on his perch and yammer little noises at me, but occasionally he was a little more demanding.  When he was in "a mood", he'd scream at me (which wasn't much fun in the confined area of the bathroom).  One morning in particular he started carrying on, and I couldn't figure out what he wanted.  In exasperation I yelled at him and said "Pakshi! You're being a big pain in the butt!"  Pakshi looked up at me and said "You're a big Kakaboodie."

  • The holiday meal was over and my parents had moved into the loungeroom to relax after eating.  Bubba was out of his cage and wandered along the back of the couch where my father was sitting.  Bubba was potty trained and not known for having "accidents", but on this occasion, he left a very large "calling card" on the couch immediately behind my father's right shoulder.  I saw it happen, but before I could move to clean it up (or warn Dad not to lean back into it), Bubba suddenly turned around, picked up the poo himself, and very deliberately placed it on Dad's shoulder.

  • Jesse had been out of her cage for a while and we'd been playing, but now it was time for me to cook dinner.  Knowing that she'd try to get into the middle of whatever I was doing (and not wanting to have to fight her off while preparing a meal), I decided to put her back in her cage.  She didn't want to go, and was struggling with me, grabbing the sides of the cage door and clinging to me and whatever else she could grab.  In exasperation I said "Awe, cummon, Jesse.  It's only for a little while."  She turned her head to look up into my face and said "No it's NOT!"